Friend Bunny

Archive for August, 2010

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Most people going through separation and divorce go through a whole range of intense emotions: sadness, anger, hurt, fear of an uncertain future, loneliness, confusion over the many decisions you must make, and a sense of failure at your lost plans and dreams.

How you choose to handle a separation is very important because of the effect it will have on the rest of your life. If you do not deal with the pain you will be unhappy for a very long time. Let go of your bitterness and anger.

Try to look at the separation as an opportunity to re-examine your abilities, your assets and your dreams, and to make the changes necessary for a new, full and rewarding life.

Things you can do:

>> Talk to someone you trust. Talking and sharing your deepest concerns to a family member or close friend that you trust can give you an outlet for your frustration and anger. You may find that a person who has been through a separation or divorce is the best one to offer support.

>> Keep a familiar routine for yourself and your children. It is especially important for your children: the more their world stays the same, the better they will be able to cope with the changes they will have to make.

>> Keep the lines of communication open with your children. They need to know that they are not losing the love and support of either parent, and that they are not responsible for your separation or divorce. Talk openly to them about your new living arrangements.

>> Stay healthy. You may find yourself forgetting to eat regularly and staying up late worrying. This could lead to a loss of energy and illness at a time when you most need to be on top of things. Keep yourself in good health by eating regular meals and getting enough sleep. You should also try to get regular exercise.

>> Learn some methods for coping with stress. There are many good books you can read on coping with stress, and you may also find some information on relaxation techniques helpful. Check with your local library and bookstore.

>> Keep in mind the old saying, “One day at a time”. Deal with your separation and the unexpected problems and feelings it creates by asking yourself, “What do I need to do today?”. Try not to worry about things you cannot do anything about until next week or next month. When the time comes, deal with them just like the others – one day at a time.

>> Avoid making major decisions until your life has become more settled. Although some decisions have to be made quickly, such as housing and school arrangements for the children, you can put off many decisions until “the dust has settled”. Give yourself some time before moving to another community, deciding on a career change, going back to school or getting involved with someone new.

>> Allow yourself the time you need to heal. Your family and friends may encourage you to “cheer up” and “get on with life” before you are ready. You must take whatever time you need to heal. Losing a marriage, no matter how difficult it may have been, still causes wounds. Give yourself quiet times alone in which you can think, cry, or simply be by yourself.

>> Get professional help when you need it. You will face many legal and emotional problems along with separation and divorce, and you will probably need professional help. For legal matters, seek the help of a lawyer. If you are experiencing severe emotional stress, your family doctor can help you find a counsellor. You may also find it helpful to talk to a member of the clergy for your religion. Make sure you use these services when you need them; ignore the desire to “tough it out” on your own.

>> Look for support in your community. There may be workshops and self-help groups in your community which can help you in this difficult time.

“A bad marriage dosen’t mean its the end of a life”

Whatever your experience of divorce may be, it is worth remembering that there is life after divorce. And it can be a blessing in disguise for it isn’t often that we get a chance to break clean and start over. We would say “Its all about progression, so don’t get disheartened.”

A marriage is always the beginning of a new life. End your search for a compatible life partner at Re-marriage.com. The No. 1 Remarriage Matrimonial Services Provider. For divorcees, widows, widowers, separated and late marriages.

What is Online Dating?

Online dating has its ups and downs, meeting and dating new people or making friends may turn to be difficult and uncomfortable depending on circumstances. Some men for example are too shy when it comes to approaching attractive women for the first time because of fear of rejection or embarrassment. Meeting people in offices or at work places may also seem awkward and difficult sometimes since this may result in ruining ones career or cause embarrassing situations. Online dating has made all this quite easy and fun, with online dating all you need to do is join a dating site on the internet where you will get to browse through the thousands of singles on the site ant your own time and privacy and contact them. Click here to join a free online dating site

How Does Match Dating Service work?

Online dating gives you the confidence and control that respects your professional life and leads to few or no embarrassments whatsoever giving you the greatest luxury of all time. Its fun, you don’t need to rush since there are thousands of profiles for you to go to choose from at your own time to find a partner who matches you. Internet match dating has had to overcome the stigma and negative images of the so called “lonely hearts” and singles from all over the world. Online match dating is easy, once you find a person who attracts you you will be able to go through their profile and signal them to show your interest and you can singnal as many members as you want. Many have ended up in very successful relationships and marriage through online dating.

Which is the best Free Dating Site on the internet?

The rituals that once dominated the world where methods of introduction through friends, singles clubs, bar encounters and many other dating methods are now considered outdated and old fashioned. Today an American can easily marry an African within no time and live happily ever after. Thousands of testimonials have related true stories of very successful relationships. You can now avoid the fruitless and time consuming efforts of trying to find appropriate venues to meet other singles because its now only a few clicks away. Click here to visit the best dating site.

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I have a post card on my wall at home saying: “You need to have a dream to have a dream come true.” These words help me lift my thoughts above the small entanglements I meet in my everyday life and think about where I really want to go, in the long run. It makes me smile, and to keep my hope up. It gives strength to keep on walking.

Dreams are important. It wasn’t before I defined my dream of a close and long term relationship that I could lift my head above those casual flings with tourists, toy boys or “cruel but hot” men and find my lovely partner. When I defined my dream about what kind of love life I wanted, I saw what was really important to me and I started looking in the right direction. Not wasting another minute on the wrong boys.

I want you to have a great love life too! I want you to feel passion, butterflies and harmony – with a new partner or the one you’re with now. I know you can! By turning your thoughts around a bit, you can get there in no time.

To reach your goal you need to have a goal. You need to see that bright future in front of you and drool.

Unfortunately, many people are today stuck in status quo (like unwanted singledom or unhappy relationships) because they have neither a stick nor a carrot to motivate them to move in any direction.

On one hand there is no longer a stick in the shape of a strong culture telling us that we have to settle. It is considered totally ok to be single no matter how old you are; it is even seen as cool and trendy. Your mum might be asking the itchy question “so when will I get grand children”, but we are individualistic enough to say “so what” and live as we please anyway. And since both men and women work and educate themselves nowadays, we don’t have to pair up to survive. Hence, there is nothing strongly pushing us towards a relationship.

On the other hand there is no longer a carrot in the shape of a clear dream of how life should be. In a world filled with divorces, dramas, a myriad of life styles to choose from, we don’t really know what love is. Is that the stuff they show in the movies? Is it my mate’s booooring 2 kids-and a mortgage-life or my dad’s fourth marriage? Who knows? When we were 17 it was all innocent and pretty. At 30 we are all confused.

It is natural to be a bit afraid of getting rejected and hurt. If you fall for someone there is a risk of loosing. You might be hurt, humiliated or wounded. There might be entanglements. This is relevant for those who already are attached, but have problems letting go totally.

If we were super motivated to go for a true love and a relationship we would overcome the fear, but since there is no stick and no carrot pushing us, many stay where they are, not strongly motivated to move an inch.

To find true love you have to want it so much you don’t care about the risks. You may be terrified, but you want it so much you just throw yourself out there, head first.

Are you that motivated? I mean, do you really want it – that close, deep relationship that makes you a part of a team, sharing ups and downs with someone? Most singles I meet don’t have a clue about where they are going. They just keep on “hunting”, being more focused on looking than finding. More into the pursuit than the happiness. Or they just live next to their partner, not knowing where they are going or where.

I know a lot of people crave true “love”, but I also know through coaching hundreds of singles, that very many are not really sure of what that “love” is. They want it because they are supposed to want, because the hunt is fun or because they deep inside miss something. But since the Dream is so unclear, they keep falling into traps all the time. Dating the wrong type of people. Being too scared to ask. Ruining growing relationships with dramas.

Find a big, big piece of paper and put it in front of you. Make sure you have glue, pens, scissors and a stash of magazines and news papers. 
Put on some nice relaxing music and close your eyes for a while. Remember times in your life when you were really happy. Remember people you love and loved. Think about friends who are in happy relationships. Find out what makes you smile and sparkle.
Now open your eyes and get to work. Define your dream relationship using your tools. Choose pictures in the mags and glue them on to the paper. Write important words about for example: How you feel
How you make your partner feel
What you do together
Who you spend time with
Your energy
How you communicate
What is important

Put the paper in a place where you can see it clearly every day. This is where you are going! This is your dream.
Say out loud: “My dream is to have a relationship that is…(whatever you have defined) I will now be true to my heart and have the courage to move towards my dream. Now that I have a dream my dream will come true.”

Now you will be more focused and naturally brave. You know what you want and deserve, so you act, think and behave in this direction, towards true love. You flirt with people who have great values instead of just great biceps. You hold your head, and not just your heals, high. You have a different look, a more honest smile. You ask for more, and more will be given to you. It’s not magic at all. It is you creating your own, better future. You are adapting to your new life, and through that adapting you make it happen.

So do the Dream exercise and bring on that happy love life! Why live another day without true love, when you can easily get it? When you have a dream, you can have your dream come true. Sweet dreams! 

A wedding is one of the most special days in a young couple’s lives. The bride has probably dreamed of this moment her entire life, and has probably started planning and preparing for this wedding as soon as the relationship became serious. With long hours of preparation, stress, and running around, the expected outcome of the wedding is grand. It’s the day she will remember forever. This is why it’s so important to record it and find the best wedding photography in Toronto to help her capture the memories and show off this beautiful day.

There are several things you need to consider when choosing a wedding photographer in Toronto. There are many Toronto wedding photographers, and knowing the right questions to ask is important in choosing the right one. Below are 5 questions you shouldn’t skip out on:

How many years experience? This is a very important question because the photographer’s experience will reflect in the final pictures. You want a photographer with plenty of experience. This means actual experience as a wedding photographer, and the size of the weddings they have shot for. Though you can never be sure they are telling the whole truth, the rest of the questions may help to clarify.
What is the style of the photographer’s technique? This is very important because you want someone to match the style that you want out of your wedding pictures. There are many different styles, such as classic style, modern, relaxed, creative, artistic and so much more. Ask the photographer to explain and describe their photography style to you.
Will they be the person taking all the pictures? It’s important that you meet the actual photographer, not their secretary. You want to make sure that you get a good feeling from them, and that you enjoy their presence, as they will be around you your entire wedding. Also, ask to meet their assistants as well, as they will be right there with the photographer as well.
What kind of equipment will the photographer be using and bringing with him? This is very important, you want a professionally equipped photographer. Ask what kind of extra equipment he will be bringing aside from their camera, such as tripod, lighting, and other necessities. It’s good to have the extra equipment as they will help make your pictures better, but also, how will they affect your wedding and will they be in the way.
Can you see examples of their work and reviews or references? You want to look through other wedding photo albums that they have done in the past. This way you will get a better idea of the photographer’s shooting style and the way he works.

Your wedding is a very special day, and you should have the best wedding photography in Toronto to help you document and record it. There are many Toronto wedding photographers that offer various wedding photography packages so you want to carefully review each one to make sure that you are getting not only the best deal but the best wedding photography in Toronto. Another important thing to consider is if they also have a wedding videographer in Toronto as well, so you don’t have to work with different studios. Choose your wedding photographer well and you will have a wonderful time at your wedding and enjoy the pictures which you will proudly show off for years to come.

The good.

 
Today’s singles and most people, generally speaking, are very lucky with the online choices they have compared to 10 or 20 years ago given the options the internet now offers them. 20 years ago there were far less online options than are available now days. Mobile phones are a good example of how far the internet has progressed in recent years. Several decades ago paging services or cb radios were the fastest way to contact someone when they were not at home. Today though, mobiles are used to carry out several non related functions, the actual mobile itself is just one of many features. Mobiles can be used as a video camera, surfing the internet, gps device and online dating. That right online dating…..will technology ever slow down ? I doubt it! Today’s singles can experience online dating not only from their pc and laptop but also from their mobile meaning they can organize a date 24/7 anywhere, anytime.

 
Another excellent advantage online dating has is the capability for singles to get right down to business and sift through the thousands member profiles until someone catches their eye. No need to feel guilty by having to tell your new internet friend your not interested, you simply move onto the next profile. Chat rooms commonly provide singles another fantastic way of communicating with other singles and still allows you an easy out if need be.

 
No need to spend money or even dress up to go internet dating. Some dating sites offer free online dating its just a matter of searching through the many dating sites on the internet to find them, so locating the ultimate in happiness doesn’t even need to cost you one single cent. Cancel your hairdressers appointment, for the females that is, not that its not okay for the males to book in at the hairdressers although if you are a guy who’s just signed up to an online dating site, admitting to booking in for a new hair do may not sit all that well with the girls you chat to online. Forget the make up and after shave, online dating gives you the chance to win over your next date with just your personality alone via the chat rooms.

 
Short of time? Does your job hold you back from getting out and socializing? Search for like minded singles in the chat rooms or via the member data base in a matter of minutes, fire off emails and chat invitations to those you find attractive, then simply go back to your normal daily routine. Check back online during the day or several days later and you may have a nice surprise waiting for you in your messages.

 
The bad.

 
Some singles can become too reliant on using online dating sites and can end up socially separated from real life social possibilities. For those who fall into this category should be careful that you don’t lose important social skills by relying on online dating services too often. Use it but try not to abuse it. Like anything in life, participate in online dating, but in moderation.

 
Singles interviewed in studies conducted by Professor Parnizky from Macintosh University who claim to being addicted to online dating said that their first thought was to log on to a dating site in search of love, rather than to venture out offline to put themselves in a situation where they could possibly meet with other singles in the offline world. These same singles mainly indicated that they felt they were losing and had all but lost touch with finding a romantic partner conventionally.

 
A regular complaint online dating members spoke of was that when they met their online dating friend in person, certain physical features were some what different to what was stated on their member profile. Their photos were not current, or were taken in a studio or sometimes wasn’t even them.

 
For those thinking about online dating, don’t get too hung up with this dating option and use these services to your advantage but don’t over do it. Treat it as some fun and don’t have alot of expectations, this is the best way to approach online dating and you just never know what you may find.      

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It’s a lovely idea to spend a whole day worshipping love, taking loved ones out for dinners and buy teddy bears with cute messages. Valentine’s gives us an opportunity to celebrate our relationships.

But what about the other 364 days of the year?

Let this years Valentine celebration be a starting point for a refreshed, rejuvenated and remarkable relationship. Love and relationship coach Carolin Dahlman is helping people fall in love and stay in love, through one on one coaching. These are her tips on how to find love in your relationship, beyond Valentine’s.

 1.      Find out how your partner wants to be loved.

We are all different and have different needs. Most times we tend to give love in the way we would like to receive it. If you like to be touched, you are more likely to touch your partner. But what if he or she rather wants a compliment? Ask how your loved one wants to be pampered with love. How can you make them feel good? And then start giving every day… Don’t forget to share what would make you happy as well! 

2.      Take time to work on the relationship.

Great relationships don’t just happen. You may think that love conquers all, but why not give it a hand. Give love space in the clutter of evening classes, dishes, parental duties and shopping. Make a habit of spending just 5 minutes giving each other full attention and a kiss every morning or evening. Have a special “love time” booked in every week, when you feel the love and give, give, give.

 3.      Do not litter.

A lot of couple uses each other as bins for their emotional garbage. You had a bad day and your partner becomes the victim of your grumpy mood. Be careful with your littering. Your energy is contagious and your partner gets affected by you. Stop complaining, criticising or pushing. Be aware of this and start spreading positive energy. Love with your heart.  

 4.      Focus on being happy.

If you are happy, your relationship will bloom. Take responsibility for your needs. Make your voice heard if you feel something is not right, instead of giving silent treatments or such. Figure out what is important to you, to make you feel great and be a loving and happy person to be and live with, and start meeting those needs. Exercise, meditation, time alone, time with your friends? Make sure your partner understands the importance of you getting this. 

5.      Be grateful for being loved.

You are in a beautiful relationship and you have a partner. You are a team. You are friends. You are each others rock, passion and inspiration. Our minds are creating our feelings. If you think of all your partner’s faults and flaws, you will feel miserable. If you think of all the fabulous traits and how happy you are for having this person in your life, you will feel the love. Your head has limited space, so fill it with positive thoughts and you will enjoy your relationship more.

Valentine’s vows

On that romantic moment you share on the 14th of February, why not take the opportunity to promise each other a year of love, and not just a day. Promise each other to make effort and build a relationship that gives you energy and happiness in your everyday life.

 How can love live without the candle light dinner:

I promise you that I will ………………………………..

I would be happy if you could …………………………

For more info and relationship advice www.coaching2love.com

What kind of communication do you and your spouse practice? How would you rate it on a scale of one to ten?

Do you feel completely understood by your spouse? Does your spouse feel completely understood by you?

When we feel understood, we feel loved? Does your spouse feel loved by you?

In our Marriage Counseling practice, over 95% of the couples who come to us practice poor communication skills. As a result, neither spouse feels understood and loved.

What are some of the “poor” communication practices?

Here are a few:

Interrupting Stealing the topic away and making it about you Improper nonverbal communication (93% of all communication is nonverbal) Mindreading Not listening Speaking in attacking manner (not remaining neutral) Speaking too long without giving your spouse a chance to respond

There are many others, but these are very common. If you want to make your spouse feel loved, Marriage Counseling thinks that it is important to replace these negative practices with positive practices.

A few of these are:

Using neutral statements and questions Being concise when you speak Check it out if you don’t understand Be a great Listener Show interest in what your spouse is saying Never interrupt

Couples who have practiced poor listening often find it hard to turn it around to become good listeners. If you really want to make your spouse feel loved, Marriage Counseling encourages you to learn how to be a good listener.

In our Marriage Counseling practice, we work with couples and teach them to become really good listeners. They not only learn how to be good listeners, they also practice those skills while they are here.

Whatever condition your Marriage or family is in, you can make it better by learning to become good listeners.