Friend Bunny

Archive for August, 2010

The divorce rate goes up in recent years so there are more single women looking for men at free online dating sites. Single women seek single men online is common these days. It is easy to find single men in USA or other countries. This computer world connect singles together online. You do not have to meet someone at school, work, or other social places. Online singles can meet with each other on the internet by using a few clicks from the computer. What you need to do is to post a good profile and you can even upload your pictures to your personal ad. You then communicate with other singles for free. You do not pay anything using free online dating sites. You need to have a good profile so that other online singles can drop you a line if they found interested in you.

Looking for relationships and marriage at free dating services has been popular in recent years. Free online dating websites provide a means for singles to find appropriate dating dream mates. Online dating service is the best way to find single women or single men online. You can find thousands of people for friendship, relationships, or even marriage. Joining online dating free services is simple. The form to register your personal ads is piece of cake. In other words, seeking a compatible dating partner online is easy as 1, 2, and 3. Free dating sites provide members free email dating services. You can check your messages directly to any dating site your register on. You can reply to any message directly through the free dating website.

Online dating service is the place where singles meet to search for love. There are many popular dating services in America or other countries. The main purpose of these dating online sites is to to match singles with each other. You can find suitable partners and then contact them all. Every body need a companion. To fulfill your need, you have to find a way to do this. That is to look for a love. We are too busy to go to the bars to meet single men or women. We do not have time to go to the parks or any other social places to meet singles. It is so hard to meet singles at these places. Because meeting a person at the park, you do not know if the person is single or not. You can say when you first meet one person at the park by saying “are you single”. It is not very nice to say that when you first meet that person.

That’s the main reason why online dating services help you to fill up your need. When you search for singles at these dating sites, you know completely that they are single. So, it is easy to find singles online by these dating services. There are two types of services. One is free online dating service and the other is paid dating sites. First, you need to select which type of service you need. Both types of these dating services offer almost the same features. Whether you search for a long term relationship or short term, you can find that at these dating services. So, you should take action now by joining these free dating services to meet that special someone of your dream.

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Have you ever wanted to find a love that lasts a lifetime and to be loved no matter what? If so, you may hope it will happen like a lightning strike bringing you instant and eternal love. But enduring love doesn’t usually happen this way. As Allie and Noah reveal in The Notebook, it takes a lot more to stay with a relationship through thick and thin to experience and enjoy a true and lasting love.

Allie and Noah begin their relationship as many couples do, full of passion and feeling for one another. Then, like many couples, they go through a series of challenging trials that force them to discover if what they feel for each other is more than just infatuation. Over time, and after many trials, they learn the skills that help their love to last. Because of this their love even lasts until the end of their lives.

In our modern era when so many relationships end in divorce, heartache, and frustration, is it even possible to find a love like Allie and Noah experience? Is it possible to have a love that not only lasts, but even deepens through time? Fortunately, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks offer help. Best-selling authors, they have counseled thousands of couples, and have experienced a lasting love themselves. Especially in their book Lasting Love, they provide insights for creating an enduring love by following five key steps.

Hendricks’ Tips for Lasting Love

* Become a master of commitment

* Be emotionally transparent

* Avoid blame and criticism

* Value creativity

* Learn the power of appreciation

The Hendricks’ insights begin with the importance of becoming a “master of commitment.” If you truly want something you need to make a commitment for it to happen giving you the will to nurture it in both good times and bad. If you don’t know what you want, or you don’t sustain your commitment, the potential for lasting love is certain to become the pain of lost love. Allie and Noah provide ample evidence of how a true commitment works. Given the misunderstandings, social pressures, personality conflicts, financial and health pressures, their relationship would have broken and never been recovered if they had not had a strong commitment to make it work regardless.

Sadly, many couples do not understand how to make a real commitment. Too often one partner makes a strong commitment and the other does not the Hendricks reveal. Unconscious commitments, where one, or both, parties are more committed to something else, can also interfere. With Allie in the film, her unconscious commitment to please her parents causes her to sacrifice being with the man she really loves. Only as Allie and Noah make a whole-hearted commitment to the relationship can it begin to really work well. Maybe so many people are deeply moved by The Notebook precisely because they hunger for what a healthy commitment can bring them in their lives as well.

The Hendricks’ second insight speaks to your capacity to be emotionally transparent. This requires an ability to understand and communicate what you are feeling honestly and respectfully to your partner. Both Allie and Noah have this skill. They fight frequently, but this ultimately strengthens their relationship because they are challenging each other to be authentic in everything they think, feel, say and do. This honesty creates a level of aliveness that deepens their capacity for intimacy and nourishes the trust and love between them.

The third key insight the Hendricks’ share is the importance of avoiding blame and criticism. In The Notebook there is heartbreak, betrayal and loss opening seemingly justifiable doors for blame and criticism. But while so many movies with similar themes allow their characters to slip into vengeance, bitterness, or cynicism, all the characters in The Notebook portray something much more positive. They own responsibility for their actions and practice empathy for others. Even the character Lon, who has plenty of reason to feel betrayed, avoids blame and criticism – of himself, Allie or Noah – as his own dream of love is crushed.

The fourth Hendricks’ insight is that creativity fuels long lasting relationships. Watched carefully, you will see how important this element is in the film. Noah releases Allie’s creative drive to play the piano, paint, and write the “notebook” itself. And Allie inspires Noah to build. Without creativity relationships become stale and the couple is likely to descend into complaint and despair. Without creativity deep levels of yourself remain unseen and malnourished. By helping each other be creative, couples keep their relationships alive and well.

Finally, the fifth key insight of the Hendricks’ is the value of becoming a master of verbal and non-verbal appreciation. In The Notebook, the words, gestures, and actions of Noah and Allie, especially in their later years, reveal a deep level of tenderness and love between them. Despite the extraordinary challenges they face and overcome, their love endures to the end. They use appreciation to enhance the positive energy in their relationship creating an atmosphere of feeling valued and loved on a daily basis. Using this step, and the other four insights the Hendricks share and the film reveals, you can create a lasting love and finally experience, or maintain, the loving relationship you have been yearning for.

IMPORTANT NOTE

This article is Copyrighted as of 2009 by LoveMovies! All Rights Reserved.
Written by Dr. Lisa Love.

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In our Marriage Counseling Practice clients tell us that their marriages are very stressed. We have discovered a number of common threads that lead to this stress.

Here are a few:

Lack of time. Too many commitments often caused by the inability to say no to a request. Lack of money. With the economy causing job losses it is particularly a problem these days. Lack of sleep. This can be very hard on our bodies, our minds, and our emotions. Lack of organization usually leads to a chaotic home and schedule. Lack or exercise. With little or no exercise our bodies and minds don’t function well. No recreation. No fun in our lives. Too many outside activities for the children. This is stressful on both the parents and the kids.

Here are some antidotes for a stress filled life:

Prayer. God provides a place of Rest and Peace for us when we seek Him. Money management. If you need help budgeting there are those who can help. Don’t put things down, put them away. A messy house leads to stress. Do a “Daily Plan” to organize your time and make sure you are not over committed. Just say no to requests that are more than you can handle in a healthy way. Get plenty or rest and exercise. Mark out at least one day each week for fun, relaxation, and recreation. Limit children’s outside activities. Laughter. The Bible says that laughter restores the soul.

We can only handle so much stress before our personal health is affected.  Likewise our relationships can only handle so much stress before they are negatively affected.

Most couples can make these changes on their own. But, if your marriage has already moved into a heavily stressed relationship, you may need outside help. Often folks turn to Marriage Counseling for help from an expert.

There is hope that you can relieve the stress in your Marriage.

The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success….
Whether you are in Goa or abroad arranging a wedding is always strenuous and a small error can spoil the entire wedding . When the lure of a Getting Married in tropical paradise beckons, an escape to Goa is second to none. The atmosphere is fun loving and friendly, and ensures — in the way that only the reggae beat can — that “every little thing’s gonna be alright.”

Venues for Weddings and Commitment Ceremonies, Vow Renewals and Anniversaries, Corporate Meetings and Accommodations related to these Celebrations are our focus. Our services can include a la carte Wedding Planning services throughout the konkan coast: Officiate, Photographers, Event Planners, Caterers, Videographers, Florists, Music ,Entertainers,   Transport
Whether an ample well appointed gathering place for a large group, A secluded Beach Spot, a romantic pied a Terre with the cosmopolitan state of Goa at your feet, a secluded luxury Resort fronting the Arabian Sea, or Portuguese Era house in the stars with infinity walls and pool overlooking a dramatic village setting in country side- we have the paradise of your imagination! Call us to discuss your interests. Simple or complex, it is our pleasure to support you in the Wedding or Commitment Ceremony you envision.

 Goan Vintage Wedding can take care of all the minute details pertaining to your wedding. Your imagination will crystallize in a Goan rainbow created for you and yours. Your Wedding Day comes only once in a lifetime and you need a lot of time to enjoy yourself at your own Wedding, here is the time you will need Goan Vintage Weddings to plan and organize your wedding for you.  We understand your needs and organize your wedding in Goa with no worries, no efforts and at a reasonable cost. Goan Vintage Weddings will help you right from the initial stage of your marriage registration, fulfillment of other legal formalities to the planning and coordination of the wedding ceremony. You can rest assure that We will handle your wedding with utmost professionalism and reliability making your day a memorable one. Goan Vintage Wedding specializes in the production of beautiful unique weddings and cutting edge corporate events. Our belief is that each client is individual and so our relationship with you is very important. We work closely with you to create a unique event which reflects your taste and style. We will make sure the planning process keeps you stress free and exceeds your expectations to leave you and your guests with happy memories. Your dreams turn to reality from here on…

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There are many free gay dating sites that offer singles to find gay men online. Many guys found their partners through these dating services. It is so easy and simple to find gay singles online because it is not cost to you. When you are looking for partners at the bars, it is just too expensive. To find gays online, you only need to join these free gay singles dating services. Gay singles should join gay dating sites to find gays or gay friends. A gay man seeking a guy at the bars or nightclubs is the old way. People rarely go to the clubs to find gay singles. Seeking dates online is the new way for gay people and online singles. We have seen many online gay dating services booming on the Internet in the last few years. Many popular gay dating web sites offer 100% free gay dating services which help many online singles to find love and romance without a fee. That’s wonderful, isn’t it?  Online dating services is a good way to find gay friends. Some gay dating services provide free membership for a limited time but some gay dating sites offer free for a life time to the members. There are paid gay dating services that were created long time ago and they charge members a small fee monthly. Popular gay dating services have the amount of joined members to two million and the number of members are going up. We can see how on line gay singles and gay personals like searching for their partners on the Net. The main purpose of online gay dating services is to provide single men and single guys to know each other on Net. Some gay dating services focus on specific area, such as Northern America, UK, Russia, Asia, or Europe regions, and there are gay dating services world-wide. Single men and single boys can meet thru the on line gay dating sites for friendship, relationships, or marriage. On line gay singles, in a moment, can see other gay personal ads in front of computer. Registering a profile takes a few minutes at these gay dating sites and we recommend that you upload your photo to increase your chance in getting more attention from other members.  You should post a nice profile to search for gays. The old saying said that one picture worth thousands words which is always true. When a member look at your photo, they will contact you right away if they are interested in your photo, without reading all the information you write on your profile. So, posting your profile with a picture or two photos increase your profile values. Usually, online gay dating services have new members on the homepage, which have newest members with photos. Profiles without pictures are usually not displayed on the front page of these gay dating web sites. Let us put it this way, when you search for a profile, you always look at profiles with pictures at these gay online dating services.

For the past five years I’ve been single again after a rocky marriage that didn’t go as I had hoped. At first, I was filled with enthusiasm as I looked forward into the future to get a fresh start at love. But, as many of you might have discovered, starting over isn’t always easy. In short, there are a lot of wounded hearts out there. And, when all these wounds bump into each other it can be hard to know how to create a healing balm. Well, here is one solution. Love.

But, in this article I am speaking about a particular kind of love, one that I first learned about many years ago when passing by a church billboard. It said simply, “How do you spell love? T – I – M – E.” That gave me a lot to reflect on. You see time is about bonding, or connecting, which is what two of my favorite relationship counselors, Pat Love and Steven Stosney share in their brillant book, “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.”

This is true whetherthe time spent it is between partners, parents and children, friends, or co-workers. And, it isn’t just a matter of quality time, it’s time, period! As another favorite saying of mine relates, “Time is priority, we always have time for our priorities in life.” Meaning, if you want to know if something or someone is a priority to you, look at how much time you invest in that person or activity.

On a personal level, I really got to experience how time heals in recent years. But, understand that I am not talking about taking time apart so that bonds can dissolve, but spending time together to lift everything up into a state of love, whether you keep things at a partnership, or just friend level.

One example of this especially stands out in my mind. It concerns a relationship I had with a man for a few years, that for various reasons didn’t work out. Though at first we needed some time to pass apart from each other to cool things down and to heal our hurt, what really mended our hearts was making a commitment to spend loving time together. Not so we could become a couple again, but to honor what love had been shared between us. Believe me, it worked!

The time together consisted of casual lunches, a few movies out, some early evening dinners, karoke, and friendly chats on the phone. The goal was not to get back together, but to find a way to honor one another and help us remember the love that was shared between us. Over a series of months of doing this, the “salve” worked and our wounds were healed. Today a loving friendship exists because we took time to heal one another, and lift ourselves back into a state of love. (Michael – thanks for taking the time to help us heal so we could move forward in a healthy way and be free to love others).

Now, I know sometimes this isn’t always practical. If we are speaking about relationships that are over, it could be one or both people have moved on with someone else. Then, you need to have an understanding partner who respects what the two of you are attempting to do. Strange as it sounds many years ago, I was actually invited to meet with a former boyfriend and his new girlfriend to be involved in such a healing process. Upon their request I took the time to drive from Los Angeles to Sacramento where they lived. There we spent three days together. During that time, I was able to bring love, compassion, and respect to the man who had never fully let me go, though we had not been a couple for years. And, I was able to bond with his new girlfriend, who finally saw first hand that I was truly not a threat. To my amazement she and I became fast friends as we spent time together. There were tears, but also there was a lot of laughter between us. I still have the picture that the man took of her and I holding each other in a loving hug just as I was about to go back home. I have never forgotten how powerful it was to spend that kind of loving time together. (Marvin and Olga – I still remember this, thank you for your gift of love).

You see in a world where more and more people feel abandoned and neglected, and where people are increasingly preoccupied with spending time at work, making a living, or vegging out in front of the television, too many of us are not spending the time together to bond, connect, and share our love. We are not holding each other, laughing enough together, greeting each other with a warm hello.

So, let me ask you this. Especially as we move into the holiday season, is there someone in your life you need to spend time with to bring about a healing? A partner, parent, child, co-worker, friend, former loved one that you are now estranged from? If so, here is what I recommend. Make a commitment to take some time to be together. Make your healing and reconnection a priority in your life. Don’t let other priorities dominate and crowd out the time you have set aside to do this, or you will end up increasing the sense of abandonment and hurt all over again. Then, the healing will become even more difficult.

And, if you choose to do this here are some ground rules.

1. Set aside time to be together.
2. Know that the goal is to help each other heal.
3. Don’t discuss hurts at first. Just keep it casual.
4. Reconnecting in public is a good idea to start. Lunches are best at the beginning.
5. If you were partners once, refrain from anything sexual. This is not an attempt to rekindle a relationship at this point, it is only about healing past hurts.
6. As much as possible, as you are first reconnecting, keep the time spent to a minimum, but be sure to make the time you spend together consistent! Long gaps, or broken commitments regarding spending healing time together, will only create more hurt.
7. If the two of you do want to talk about any hurt caused between the two of you, don’t do it until you have had at least five casual reconnections, maybe even as many as seven. Remember the goal at first is connection, not communication.
8. If someone feels sensitive, or mistrusts your intention to spend healing time together, know that time spent in the right way will help that as well. Share that you care about that person. Let them know you want to spend some time with them. Pick something to do together that the two of you would enjoy. (And, remember I am talking about parents spending time with children, and friends spending time with friends, not just former partners healing hurts together).

Ultimately, I have found in my own experience that this kind of healing time really works. But, remember to be consistent in doing this. Set a regular time if you need to. And, stick to the rules to not discuss any hurt between you until you have had consistent casual time together.

Believe me, this works. And, what better thing to do over the holidays than to mend hurts with the people you love (and once loved), than to let them fester any longer.

Want more help? Also, consider this book, “I Thought We’d Never Speak Again.” Or, call me for a counseling session. Information about how to contact me is available at my website. http://www.doctorlisalove.com

Happy Healing to You!

Blessings and love,

Lisa

Copyright 2009 by Dr. Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

Remarriage after divorce

Divorce is a very painful experience. It leaves some unwanted memories and people who had gone through divorce usually become cautious when they want to start a new relationship with someone else.

Remarriage after divorce might be a confusing decision to take. Because people will try to avoid all the mistakes that happened in the previous marriage and they are not sure they can fix the problems. They usually have lack of confidence in their selves to lead a successful marriage because the old failures haunt them and make them hesitant to take the decision.

What would affect your chances of getting married after a divorce? There are many factors. For example a single young lady might have less chances of getting married again if she has some children.

There are many factors like education, income and social factors.

If you want to succeed in your new marriage, you need to be aware about some specific things, do not let past failures discourage you, and follow these tips.

1) Remove any unsettled issues from your old marriage and be ready to start a new life. Make sure you are over the divorce, financially, emotionally and socially.

2) Assess your performance. The best thing you can do to start again with a successful remarriage is to evaluate your faults and try to avoid them to enjoy a new marriage without deadly mistakes.

3) Wait and think before taking a hasty decision. Take time to know your new partner and try to explore new and unveiled sides of his/her character. This will help you tighten your relationship with your new partner and will help you accept him/her as a new partner without any imaginary or illogical expectation.

4) Let your new partner know the real you. Do not try to cover yourself with a false aura. Talk about your hopes, ambitions, beliefs, expectations, fears and disappointments. Be open and honest with your future partner and ready the air for him/her to talk about him/herself too. Honesty is crucial if you want your remarriage to be successful.

5) Have a new start. Do not stay in the same place or hang out with the same mutual friends. Make a little change to your community, college or job. Avoid any relationship with your ex and be ready to forget about the past and its woes.

6) Go for new activities. New hobbies, new job or new decisions in your life will help you overcome divorce and will enhance your confidence to better help you make a successful remarriage. Sharing new activities with your new partner or working for a voluntary cause will help you reorganize your life.

Remarriage after a divorce could be an exciting experience. You need to leave the past behind and look forward to your future. Live your moment and you will make it last this time.

Start a New Life and find a compatible match for yourself at www.re-marriage.com The No.1 Remarriage Matrimonial Services Provider. For divorcees, widows, widowers, separated and late marriages.

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